Author: My Pretty Lil Daughter Poops the Tub

Infinity Pools

Im pretty simple, give me a solid week at work, not too many kid meltdowns at home and a good 2 days of football on the weekend, and im good.  Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat and im a middle america dad.  But damn these commercials with infinity pools.  I dont crave going abroad, or even going to all the fun spots the wife and I did before.  But those infiity pools, that looks like crack to the Dave Chapelle character scratching and ticking.  Just give me one free day, hell one free hour with an infinity pool and a view.  Granted winter is coming and that view sounds a bit better than 4 inches of snow but, damn.


Icy Whites

Today my son needed a new pair of shoes.  That’s a fun thing because I love shoes.  Time to head to the Nike Outlet to grab a cheap pair of kicks for the youngin.  Problem is that he is 4 now, no cheap toddler shoes anymore.  So, there they are, on sale for $25.  Icy White, with a touch of black, Nike Roshe’s.  It’s a bad idea, right?  White shoes for a lil bruiser.   I get this, but they look so good.  If and only if you love shoes, will you understand the significance of a new pair of Icy White Nikes.  You understand the commitment to the Whites.  No mud, no rain, no going out on fresh cut grass, and you know a 4 year old recognizes none of that.  My wife understands that too.  “Honey, I think these are a bad idea.”  Me- “they can just be school shoes.”  Wife – “I still think its a bad idea.”  I think the same thing but I already bought them, just to see if they will even fit.  Dads home with that Nike bag.  The one bag that kids realize someone is getting something fresh and even chant your name at your arrival.  So at this point we need to at least try them on, right?  They get tried on, Boomer realizes that they magically make it so that you cant fall over, even while running at top speed and ……… there’s no way they are going back.  More fresh and clean than anything Andre 3000 ever saw.  And then they go to school for the first day.  I come home and the whole family realizes that all I care about is the condition of those Nikes.  I spent the $13 on the high end, water resistant, stain resistant spray, used damn near half a can just to prove the wife wrong.  At the end of the first day, they already had dark marks that i couldn’t remove.  Tried all the shoe tricks, carpet cleaner, magic erasers, stain stick, yet none of them made a dent.  But at the end of the day, is there any better feeling than being faster than everyone else in an icy white pair of shoes?  The answer is no, unfortunately I didn’t realize the real question is, it it ok to be regular speed with some dingy, torn up and stained Nikes?  No it’s not, but that one day where you were faster than anyone on the playground is a pretty solid day, one thats at least worth $25 for shoes…..$13 for protectant….2 hours with stain stick, magic eraser and carpet cleaner and ….. well…. i guess moneys not a thing